* THE TOO MANY CAPS 11:

Regular deriders of the England team will undoubtedly share this writer’s bafflement at the regular doling out of caps to English players not worthy of pulling on an Ebbsfleet shirt, let alone an England one. I had always found this strange, but one day my ire was further stoked. Did you know that under brolly-toter Steve McClaren, Phil Neville won his 59^th cap? Fifty-nine caps? Phil Neville of Euro-2000-scapegoat fame? Amazing! 

I felt it necessary to delve further into this phenomenon. Thank god for the internet, where trivial desires can be instantly satiated. The internet may be used, of course, to satisfy a wide range of desires but, dear reader; I sought only one thing – factual evidence. What I found was startling: did you know 53-cap Glen Hoddle and 57-cap Paul Gascoigne, England’s stand-out players of the 80’s and 90’s respectively, have less caps than Phil Neville?  

                                                

But poor Phil Neville is not the only one: in fact I have come up with an entire team of players, who despite limited ability have amassed a collection of caps to make the dead-ball genius Matt Le Tissier (8 caps) cry into his daily fry-up. Whether by virtue of managerial stupidity, luck or lack of left-footed alternatives, this motley crew have collected a staggeringly undeserved haul of caps. Some points must be noted: your writer being a mere slip of a lad means only players from the last twenty years are included (in reality, caps were not handed out so easily before then so it’s probably about right); and it is rather subjective list. To make your own ‘Too Many Caps 11’ go to: http://www.englandfanzine.co.uk/records/appearances.asp  

Presenting… The Too Many Caps 11: 

Player Name (Caps, Goals) 

James, David (36, 0)

Mills, Danny (19, 0)

Mabbutt, Gary (16, 1)

Brown, Wes (15, 0)

Neville, Phil (59, 0)

Palmer, Carlton (18, 1)

Smith, Alan (19, 1)

Batty, David (42, 0)

Dyer, Kieron (33, 0)

Vassell, Darius (22, 6)

Blissett, Luther (14, 3) 

Total Caps: 293. Total Goals: 12. Goals-per-Cap: 0.04 

SubsRobinson, Paul (41, 0), Young, Luke (7, 0), Bridge, Wayne (28, 1), Salako, John (5, 0), Lee, Robert (21, 0), Wise, Dennis (21, 1), Jenas, Jermaine (18, 1), Heskey, Emile (45, 5).

SOCCERSNOBS.